The Little Tattoo on My Back

There is a little tattoo on the small of my back that I have regretted for nearly 15 years now.  I got it when I was 21 and still searching for myself.

After a hard childhood, especially teenage years of being bullied, I made a few bad choices from that place of low self-worth. These choices just resulted in a painful ending of my first marriage.

So I was in the process of rebuilding and searching for who I was. But I was lost and misguided about many things. I was looking in all the wrong places and one of them was astrology. I thought that it could help explain who I was and give me hope for the future. And I liked what I read about 'my sign' so I tattooed it on my back.

But the astrology sign did not help me find myself, and like all other ways I looked, it failed to make me feel worthy and loved. Like all false ways, it lead to more death, not the life I was seeking.

But a few years later, I found God. And over time I realized that He never failed me. His love and truth does speak to who I am. His beloved child. Loved so deeply, He sent His Son to come and rescue, redeem, and restore back to a relationship with Him.

So, now I don’t so much regret the tattoo. I see it as a sign that I was once lost, but now I am found.

But even more than that, I recently realized this searching for my identity and finding it in Christ is the call God led me into to share His goodness. Wow, it really is true that He takes our pain and makes it our purpose.

One day, I hope to get the little tattoo covered over with a sunflower because on this journey I learned  an important truth – we can only find out who we are when we turn our face towards the Son like sunflowers do.

When we come to God and let Him strip us of all the false things we attempt to use to find ourselves and bolster our self-worth, we find our true identity – beloved child of God. Created significant. In Him we find that we are loved and free!

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